Think before you judge

This semester alone has been suuuuch an eye opener when it comes to judging or making assumptions about people or judging their behaviour. You simply canot because you have absolutely no idea what that person is going through, what burden they are carryig, what they have been through in their life, what secrets they have bee keeping. I learnt the hard way when I was so quick to judge a friend on her mood ad behaviour only to find out a secret and burden she had been carryig for so many years. This actually happened with two friends with completely different stories ad hardships they have faced. What if I had not give them the time of day because I was too upset to see passed their behaviour? I woder if when people hear my story, they have the same reaction... Like, wow, that really explains a lot about who you are and the way that you behave. I have so may opiions on difficulties in life and how you deal with them. I have been through a lot yet i will never let it define me. It is a part of who I am but I try my best to not blame my childhood or the things i've been through for my actions. We all get to make a decision when tough things happen in life. Do i let it define me in a negative way where I take it out on the world, or do I let it make me stronger and chanel everything you have learnt to help someone else one day. I know i have made some very poor decisions especially in the last 3 years when i was trying to "discover" myself, find myself, create myself. I got pulled into situations i promised myself i would never be in... Now do I blame what i've been through or do i just blame myself for the fact that i knew better. I don't know. These posts of mine will never be deep and intellectual... they'll be deep but more from intellectual because i am still trying to figure everything out. I'll think i believe something then while im writing i find myself questioning that belief. Its frustrating but at the same time, its teaching me so much. Teaching me to critically think. I am loving this idea of getting my feelings down. Back to studying for 3rd year final exams! Eeeeeeeeek.

deep thinking

Now that my blog is no longer for marks, i though id use it as an escape for my crazy life. i have always been useless as journal writing, i am fired up and ready to write in my diary for one night and wont touch it again for 3 months. so this is how i am going to do it. Typing has always been so much easier thaan writing. i can get my thoughts down so much quiscker than writing... so this is me.in 3 years i have discovered so much about myself, who i want to be, where im going etc but i am still not where i wasnt to be with the person that i am. i want to be so assertive that people respect me for standing up for what i believe in, i dont want to hang out with people who bring me down, or those people who care more about shopping, clothes, money and all those trivial issues. i want to be around people who inspire me, who dont look at me for the kind of household ive grown up in or the fact that i cant afford epesive clothing, holidays, i dont even have a car... and that is SO ok! because one day when i do get a cra i know i wil treasure it and be so icredibly grateful for that car. i know that i would have worked for it and that it would be all mine. the only part i find difficult with being so ok with my circumstances is my sister. It is the strangest feeling but i wish i could give her everything. i wish i could give her a car, i wish i could take her shopping or not have to do a quick budget recall in my head when she poits out somethig she likes. i hate this feeling and i wonder if that how y mom feels- wantting to give TJ and the world but she cant because of circumstances. My eyes well up with tears when i think that i cant give my sister that, imagine what my mom feels. she has been a single parent for 11 years... the entire burden of money beig on her shoulders alone. I hate to wish my life away but i absolutely canot wait to get this degree for the pure reason of helpig out my mom financially and giving my sister more. What is so icredible is thta my mom has always given us what we need/want and MORE! We have been on every school trip since grade 1, every sports tour, we have gone on holidays with friends, gone on trips and been given beautiful gifts all at my moms expense and stress. She is so icredible, putting her happiess before ours. Yes, at times, it does become more difficult where hte stress becomes too much but my mom has always given so much love and support to my sister and i. Thank you mom. This post is just me tryig to rationalise feelings. Trying to put things into perspective. I have come a long way in 3 years since OT when it comes to standing up to friends, doing what i want to do, and not carig when poeple judge. If there is one thing that i have learnt this semester- it is NEVER to judge. So may examples have come up and almost slapped me in the face because we have NO idea what burdens people are carryig. No idea!

My inspiration

I wrote this post a while ago as a word document, but wanted to wait for the perfect time to post it. This is a little something about a very inspirational woman, my supervisor. I never want to “brown nose” or anything like that, but I feel like it needs to be said... I applied to have my psychosocial prac venue at NPC well aware of whom my supervisor would be. I thought I was taking a major risk as she is notorious for really making her students work hard, and literally having no tea or lunch breaks as we would work while we eat. I was scared, to say the least. But I wanted to challenge myself. And challenge myself I did but not in the way I had ever imagined. My supervisor made me think in a new way, a way I never thought I could think. I found myself questioning the stereotypes I had in my head, had me questioning ANY comment that was made and challenging the opinions that formulated in my head. This new way of thinking led me to some really profound perspective changes that have helped me in my journey of OT. I have never worked so hard in my life and its not because we were pushed, it was because we were encouraged to be the best that we can be. This psych block has had the greatest impact on my life... and I have my supervisor to thank for that. She always knew how to keep us going. In many ways, I feel that she used so many therapeutic techniques on us as a group and as individuals. Techniques of motivation, and self reflection, mastery, autonomy and stepping up to being leaders. To stop being average, and start truly making a difference... I am inspired by this woman. Our group joked and said we have an “academic crush” on our supervisor because we are so in awe of all her knowledge and views on life. She has made me a better therapist and a better person... To believe what I believe in, it doesn’t matter what others think of you as long as you have it in your heart to accept others for who they are. So this post is dedicated to my supervisor. For changing my way of thinking, for inspiring me and encouraging me to be the best that I can be, for making this semester the semester where I fell in love with OT and what we stand for. Thank you.

My blog :)

Often the service users, come into the facility, with a poor quality of life, they have no job, have lost their job or don’t gain anything in their line of work which is not fulfilling. They often land up, getting in a cycle of substance abuse, as they have no purpose in life, no skills and little to look forward to. When they come to the rehabilitation, yes they are clean for 3 months, but they then return without skill, and can easily return to relapse, by providing them with a skill or developing an interest in that section, the service user can now go out and apply for jobs, that are in the line of work that they are interested in. So besides leaving being clean, they can also leave with a sense of hope, exposure to a new skill

The new work station room at NPC

The barrier we picked up at Newlands Park Centre was a lack of vocational rehabilitation training. Many of the service users experience occupational deprivation due to them not having a job or being in a job that does not satisfy their needs or intellectual level due to them not having the opportunities to study or gain skills in life. We decided to do a vocational rehabilitation centre.... Often the service users, come into the facility, with a poor quality of life, they have no job, have lost their job or don’t gain anything in their line of work which is not fulfilling. They often land up, getting in a cycle of substance abuse, as they have no purpose in life, no skills and little to look forward to. When they come to the rehabilitation, yes they are clean for 3 months, but they then return without skill, and can easily return to relapse, by providing them with a skill or developing an interest in that section, the service user can now go out and apply for jobs, that are in the line of work that they are interested in. So besides leaving being clean, they can also leave with a sense of hope, exposure to a new skill. In our vocational rehabilitation centre, we have 4 main sttaions- welding, electrical, mechanical and a bicycle repair station. These stations all have a set of skills that the service user can take into the world outside of the rehab. When we were practising each station with the service users to see if it would work, one of the service users said he knows nothing about engines as that was the station we asked him to do one of the activities. afterwards, he said- "Wow, i actually learnt something today." So that was a great feeling for all the students. It has been a very stressful and long semester putting this project together but it has been so rewarding! To see all our stations up and running and to see the service users getting so involved with the stations was so great. We look so forward to this project benefitting so many service users in the future. This project has added a whole new element to their quality of life.

SINK OR SWIM

The theme for this semester at our practical venue has been “SINK OR SWIM”. NPC is not for the faint hearted  We, as a group, decided to SWIM-literally. As part of team building, motivation and team morale, our supervisor encouraged us to go swimming at the beach on the last day of term. We were all keen and excited, only to have the weather forecast be rain and....... more rain! But this didn’t stop us. We had no choice really  So we all went swimming, all 5 in my group and our supervisor. It is quite ironic that we are in our psych block of OT and we go swimming at the beach in the rain.... onlookers must have thought WE were psychotic! But what an incredible day it was. We swam in the freezing cold and in the rain. Something happened in our group that day- we became closer. “Through adversity grows the strongest characters.” We tackled adversity that day of rain and cold, and we swam. It was symbolic in my eyes of our whole prac at NPC. It has been tough, and we have faced many adversities as individuals and as a group but we still decided to SWIM. Our first day at the drug and alcohol rehabilitation centre was a shock to the system. We had tea and lunch, but these were working breaks. And we completed almost all our assessments in just one day. We were told to run a group on the spot. It was challenging but we are all the better for it. That day we came up with our saying- SINK OR SWIM. It was been a resounding motto throughout prac and I am so proud to say, we have been swimming... and whenever anyone in the group was beginning to sink, we would lift each other up again when either of us forgot how to swim. It helps so much to be motivated, believed in and encouraged by our supervisor. This degree is not easy, but a wise friend once told me.... “If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.” You truly have to have the heart to be an OT. It is emotional, it is difficult and so incredibly challenging but it was days like our swim at the beach in the rain, the smile on a service user’s face and hearing of success stories that make it so worthwhile. My heart hurts for those who are struggling to find the light in this degree, I feel very fortunate to have seen OT is such a beautiful light. And I hope for the same for everyone else doing this course

My mom, my class’s inspiration

In OT, we cover a variety of topics and one of them included EATING DISORDERS. This topic is very close to my heart as my mom has been suffering with an eating disorder since she was 12 years old. It has been a constant battle for her, and inevitably, for our family. When this topic came up in lectures, it was tough to hear some of what was said but it gave me a greater understanding into the disorder and how it really is a disorder and not something that is easily controlled. I told my mom about what we had covered in class and she offered to discuss her experience with my class. I was blown away, my mom wanted to give back  What was great is that my mom has been for Occupational Therapy for her eating disorder so she knew a bit about what we do and how to approach the topic. The thing about my mom, when she does something, she does it PROPERLY. so she asked for all my eating disorder notes and consulted all the notes she had received in therapy. As the day approached of my mom’s talk, nerves were mounting for the both of us. Firstly, because this is a very personal and sensitive topic and we didn’t know how it would plan out. And secondly, my mom had never done this before and thirdly, I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to handle the emotions behind what we have been through as a family with this disorder. But the day came, and I have never been so proud of my mom. She was so honest, so open and so real with my class. She wasn’t ashamed, and I think this played a major part in the class learning that this is a disorder, it is so difficult to control and it is not an attention seeking thing. This disorder is real, and it is scary. My mom got told when she was young that she was fat, and not having the emotional support of her father and always trying to be a perfectionist to impress him, this all contributed to the beginning of this disorder. Something happens in the mind, where you feel like you have no control over the things in your life, and your weight becomes something so easy to control. It becomes a vicious cycle when one tries to control their weight, and eventually, that person loses control of controlling their weight as their life spirals out of control. From an OT perspective, we focus on the control aspect and how to “control the controllables”. We focus on stress management, insight into the disorder, how to prevent episodes of the eating disorder etc. Something so interesting with my mom is that whenever she ate, she would have the urge to purge. The OT taught her different methods of distraction after eating a meal. My mom started a vegetable garden and whenever she finishes eating, she will go straight to the garden, or make a phonecall or read a book so that she is distracted from these thoughts. My mom took a giant step the day she spoke to my class. It was so incredibly therapeutic for her recovery as she had recently started recovering from an episode of weight loss. I have never been so proud of my mom as I was that day. My mom touched the lives of OT students in my class as she made the effort to read our notes and make the talk as beneficial as possible. She shared her heart and her emotions, and it was therapeutic for me as I too got to share the effects that it has on the family. It was a great day. If this post has inspired you, and you would like my mom to speak to a group of people or at a school in the Durban area, she will be more than happy to. E-mail me at nikitasweet26@gmail.com

Shongweni Kids Camp

During the July holidays, a group of us volunteered to attend a Christian Kids Camp in Shongweni. This camp was run by two American Missionaries. What an experience it was! The camp was held in a church in Ntshongweni, which is a very rural poor area. The children in the area were all on holiday from school or were not old enough to attend school yet. We worked with children from the ages of 3 to 18. We were all allocated an age group and the activities included- a bible story, a music session, arts and crafts and sport activities. It was a challenging week having to travel for many kilometres and only having very few of us looking after about 80-100 children. This experience, however, opened up my mind and heart to community. Although the camp was not done for OT, there were so many aspects that could filter into Occupational Therapy such as constructive use of leisure time, gaining social skills and interacting and supporting one another, learning work habits at the arts and crafts station and learning to help one another in their community. I look so forward to starting community next year in our fourth year. It is something that I have always been interested in, and this camp ignited the spark in my heart once again. This camp was heart warming as we got to know all the children and be doing God’s work at the same time

The welding room. Stage 2

So the room was cleared, we had our very own space for our welding station. Our next mission was to paint the rom. What a great morning once again. The service users worked hard... We had minimal resources for paint but we made the best of what we had. Electric bue and cream. We decided that the combination of colours was very INDUSTRIOUS.

This is the room before the paint was done.... Seemed like a daunting task ahead as the walls were high and we had no ladders. The service users took initiative and attached the roller paintbrushes to broom sticks so that they could reach higher up. This project was allowing the the oppurtunity to problem solve, to make decisions and very importantly- think positively. They were contributing to a great project for NPC. This group of service users will always be remembered for the legacy that they leave behind, and that being this incredible welding room station.

Thes unfinished sun that can be seen in the picture is a mosaic of mirror pieces that we found in the room during the clean up of it. We used the mirror pieces to construct this masterpiece sun. It is not finisehed yet and will be completed by one of the service users. The sun is symbolic for obviously, LIGHT. A beautiful saying that goes with this metaphor of the sun is.... "Turn your face towards the sun and the shadows will fall behind you." This is so beautiful and rings so true in the lives of the service users. Turning away from their dark ways of substance abuse and looking towards the sun as the try to change their lives for the better, leaving behing the shadows that took control of their lives.

The infamous welding room-beginning stages

Students at NPC had a dream at the beginning of their practical block. It was develop a vocational rehabilitation centre... The dream was there and the fire in our hearts was ignited. We wanted this dream to happen. No matter what. Imagine the endless possibilities for the service users at NPC! Substance dependenence can have a very strong influence from lack of employment, or unconstructive use of leisure time. If we could provide the oppurtunity for the service users to develop skills in different areas of work, to develop work habits, to explore leisure oursuits that they have never been exposed to or had the oppurtunity with work with. The project was a great idea but very daunting at the same time. Could we pull it off?? With the encouragement and passion from our supervisor, we have begun the project... And it is finally coming together. Through hours of delibiration, and concept formations on how to get this project going, e-mail after e-mail at all hours of the day, phonecall after phonecall, hours of hard work such as CLEARING OUT AN ENTIRE WORKSHOP ROOM that has not been opened for 10 years!Which brings me to my blog story... The infamous welding room, the beginning stages. One of our stations for the vocational rehabilitation project is a welding room. What we needed ( and thought we did not have at NPC) was a welding room, a welding machine, safety equipment, welding rods and metal. Megan's brother, a mechanic came to our rescue and provided us with a welder, the safety equipment and the welding rods. It was a wish come true!!! Only to come back to NPC, to find a welding machine and equipment. We were mortified, HOWEVER, we took it our stride and saw it as an oppurtunity to have even more equipment AND it was a major positive because all our talk on welding and bringing in a temporary welding machine-it had sparked interest amongst the service users and the old welder re-surfaced. It was encouraging because we had stirred interest in the project. We needed metal, which we hoped to get from selling all the scarp metal in the junkyard. Through numerous attempts, meetings and phonecalls, we were unsuccessful but we will now be able to use the scrap metal to make items in the vocational rehabilitation project. All we needed now was a room... There was a workshop door that had not been opened for ten years. what was behind that door, we did not know. We had to get one of the service users to cut the lock for us because the key had been lost. As Megan opened the door, the sight that net her eyes and the eyes of her service user caused great panic as they quickly tried to close the door before the supervisor got any ideas... they were too late. Our supervisor ran to the door, took one look and proceeded to take out a dust consumed fan, one of anout 100 dust infested fans, and took it out. That was her way of telling us... "Ok let's start clearning."

This was the room before we tackled the cleaning. A saying that rings so true to this whole adventure is... "a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." We all mustered up the courage and began clearing out this room. It was hard work, we were full of dust, and my sinuses took a beating, but IT WAS SO WORTH IT! We had a room for our welding station. The supervisor, the students and service users worked hard TOGETHER. It was a great afternoon.

And finally... all was cleared out and the room was empty. We could now make it our own. Which is the next part of the project- painting the room and making it a real welding room. To see the end product of the huge project that was the welding room, is going to be so encouraging and heart warming. In a small way, the 3rd year students of 2012 are leaving NPC with a brilliant idea and concept of vocational rehabilitation. I cannot wait for the room to be finsihed!!

Story of a drug addict

12 September marked a very special day in the life of 35 OT students and one very special service user from NPC. This service user is a Mandrax drug addict with a heartbreaking story of rejection, hatred, and a longing to be somebody in a communtiy riddled with drug dealers and drug users... His story is so deep and personal yet he came to share it with my entire class. This service user has been working with me for 7 weeks now. 3 weeks of detox and 4 weeks of intervention. We will call him Mr K* Mr K is a 19 year old man who came to NPC (Newlands Park Centre) with the idea that he will just come to rehab and prove to his family that he can stop using drugs, stay for a few weeks and the return to his family clean and just do his drug dealing and taking drugs behind his family's back. But something happened in the few weeks at NPC. A very short time but his mindset changed. I met Mr K in his 3rd week. During our initial interview, he did not want to look me in the eye. He was ashamed and had extremly low self esteem. He tells me now, a few weeks later, that his impression of me was- "what does this girl know about being a drug addict?!" I am so glad his perspective changed. As the weeks went on, Mr K emerged as a leader in the group sessions, he ws beginning to look people in the eye and he was an active participant in group and individual activities. Mr K came to my class with a twinkle in his eye. He was so honoured to be asked to come and speak. He spoke with confidence and pride in how far he has come. Girls in our class were brought to tears. He told us how far he had come, his fears for the future and how he wants to help other people that are in his situation. I think the tears were brought on by the pure heartache of his story and the absolute power of conviction and truth in his message. we were all rooting for his recovery. He changed so many perspectives of OT in our class. So many students afterwards had their "aha" moments. Finally, we can see how OT can help people and potentially save lives. It was a beautiful day of realisation and such an incredible milestone and accomplishment for Mr K. i went home that day and cried as i reflected on what he had to say. I reflected on how unfair and harsh life is but how incredible humans are to come back from such hardship. he said something so amazing that touched all of our hearts. He said that today as he speaks to my class, that he finally loves who he is becoming. He didn't recognise this person because all that he knew was the drug addict who was trying to be someone doing bad things. And finally, he loves this person he is becoming. So incredible. Drug addiction is a scary world. It involves death and violence and stealing. It's a dark place to be in where your whole life becomes consumed by the NEED for the drug of choice. "There is a difference between a drug user and a drug addict. Increasingly people are referred to as junkies. A junkie is a user whose drug addiction is so far advanced; that life is simply not possible without a daily dose of drugs. To get a dose, a junkie is willing to do almost anything: lie, steal, manipulate and blackmail. These features develop in the course of the increasingly progressive drug addiction." (http://drug-addiction.co.za/) Help lines for people with drug addictions: Call: + 27 (0) 79 604 4249 082 450 4414

The service user told us an interesting story with a strong message: There was a wise old man living in a community. All the members of the community would come to this old wise man and he had the answers for everything. He knew everything. A little boy in the community decided to test this wise man. The young boy caught a bird, alive in his hands, he put it behind his back and went to the wise man. He said: "Is the bird behind my back alive or dead?" The wise man knowing the young boy would crush the bird to death if the man said it was alive, and would let it live if the wise man said it was dead. The wise man looked at the young boy and said: "The life of that bird rests firmly in your hands." the moral of the story being that our lives are in our hands, only we can make those life and death choices for our lives.

A Beautiful Mind, my movie essay for psychopathology

“Perhaps it is good to have a beautiful mind, but an even greater gift is to discover a beautiful heart.” John Nash, a pure genius of his time. John Nash, a misunderstood man with a brilliant mind that “falls prey” to the clutches of delusions and hallucinations characterised by the illness, schizophrenia. This movie is captivating as the viewer learns of this illness in a devastatingly heart warming way. The viewers are shown the long and hard journey of John Nash suffering with schizophrenia. The opening quote to this essay shows the epitome of what got John Nash through the illness, love. “A Beautiful Mind” is based on a true story on the life of John Nash. John Nash was a very peculiar man with a brilliant mind. He was a genius of his time. We see John Nash as he progresses from being a student to becoming a lecturer working at Princeton University. We follow the life of John Nash as the disease progresses. It is interesting as we see when there is change or stress in Nash’s life; this is when the symptoms of the disorder are most prominent. These events that cause stress or anxiety in his life are when he is in search of “the original idea” and when he meets a girl that he has thoughts of marrying. This daunting time of life changing decisions is where we see the symptoms worsening. Even towards the end of the movie in Nash’s old age, where he returns to his university after many years, we see Nash’s anxiety and the delusions and hallucinations cause him to have an extreme episode. His wife reminds him then, and the viewers of the movie are brought into awareness that stressful times trigger the delusions. Alicia, Nash’s wife: “You know stress triggers the delusions.” “Schizophrenia is a psychotic disorder (or a group of disorders) marked by severely impaired thinking, emotions and behaviours.” (Medical dictionary). It is characteristic of hallucinations and delusions that affect the daily living and occupation of those that suffer with the illness. The subtype of schizophrenia that John Nash is presenting with is Paranoid Schizophrenia. Paranoid schizophrenia is a pre-occupation with one or more delusions or frequent auditory hallucinations. In the beginning of the movie, we are introduced to the peculiar character of John Nash. A strange and somewhat socially inept man that is a genius. He is dubbed “the mysterious West Virginia genius”. John Nash attends Princeton University, and he is in search of his “original idea.” His goal is to “Find a truly original idea. It is the only way I will ever distinguish myself. It is the only way I will ever matter.” The viewers of the movie are unaware of his illness at this time. We only get to see the socially withdrawn man with very peculiar ways. He does not fit in easily. “I don’t like people much, and they don’t like me.” We are introduced to Nash’s roommate at the beginning of the movie, Charles Herman. It is very interesting as to how the movie only allows the viewer to see that Charles Herman, Charles’ niece Marcie as well as William Parcher, who works as a spy for the department of defence, are all hallucinations that John Nash is experiencing after we have been introduced to them. Before we know that Charles is a delusion, there is dramatic irony in what Charles says to Nash: “Nothing's ever for sure, John. That's the only sure thing I do know.” Only once Dr Rosen intervenes and takes Nash to a psychiatric hospital do we find out that Nash’s peculiar behaviours are due to the schizophrenia and some of the people that he has met, are in fact, delusions and hallucinations. As we find out that he has the illness, one can start putting the pieces together slowly. The fact that only Nash speaks to Charles and that he does not feature in any conversations with the other university members such as Martin. John Nash does not realise that he has the illness even though he is admitted to a psychiatric hospital. He still tries to convince his wife that they are in danger. He says to her when she comes to visit: “We have to talk quietly. They might be listening.” His wife, Alicia cannot believe that he is so pre-occupied or believes with all that he is, that he is working for the US government. She tells him that none of it is real. She proves this to him by showing him all the unopened letters that he drops off at the US Defence headquarters. She informs him of his illness. “It’s in your mind. You’re sick.” He walks away from her in disbelief. The next scene, we see John Nash in his room in the hospital on the floor. It is a terrifying and graphic scene as he is tearing away at his skin on his forearm searching for the barcode that the US defence force inserted into his arm. He looks extremely distresses as he cannot find it. “I can’t find it, it’s gone.” This is the first time that Nash becomes aware that the things that he thought was his reality, are in fact, not real. Dr Rosen says it so perfectly when he speaks of Nash’s condition to Alicia while Nash is receiving Electroconvulsive Therapy. It epitomises what schizophrenics must go through. “Imagine if you suddenly learned that the people, the places, the moments most important to you were not gone, not dead, but worse, had never been. What kind of hell would that be?” This quote allows the viewers of this movie to sympathise with Nash. Everything that he was and believed, all that he saw and was working for, all turned out to not be real. Nash is put on medication to help alleviate the symptoms of schizophrenia being the hallucinations and delusions. We see how the medication has a saddening affect on Nash. The side effects include Nash not being able to work properly, a decreased sex drive and his inability to take care of his baby boy properly. This sends Nash into a spiral has he decided to stop taking his medication. The effect of non compliance to medication is seen in a devastating manner. Nash begins to have the hallucination and delusions in full force. He begins to see codes that he needs to break and the delusions come back, Charles Herman, Marcie and William Parcher. His illness becomes out of control and his wife is oblivious to this as Nash is so careful not to tell her what is going on for “her own protection.” We come to the climax of the movie when Nash puts his baby’s life in danger as well as acts out and pushes his wife to the floor unintentionally. He is left to bath his son while Alicia goes outside to hang up the washing, still unaware that Nash is no longer taking his medication. She discovers the cottage outside has all the evidence that Nash is once again, having delusions and hallucinations, possibly worse than the first time as we see the walls covered with magazine articles and codes. She runs inside the house to find the baby almost being covered completely with water, and Nash says “Charles was watching him. He’s ok.” This scene is devastatingly terrifying as we see the very harmful and dangerous affects of schizophrenia. How one can become completely pre-occupied with these delusions. The horrifying scene continues as Alicia tries to phone the psychiatrist and Nash’s delusion of William Parcher pulls out a gun threatening to shoot Alicia. Nash tries to “protect” her, resulting in him pushing her over while she is holding the baby. She leaves the house. And Nash is confronted with all three of his delusions in the room. It is obvious that a few years have passed yet Marcie remains the same age. He comes to this realisation and it is the first time, without medication that Nash gains insight into his disorder. It is the first time he realises that he is seeing delusions. He runs out to Alicia- “She never gets old! Marcie can't be real, she never gets old!” Nash comes to realise his illness. This is very difficult for schizophrenic patients as many lack great insight into their condition. This is also one of the reasons one might not be compliant with medication. They believe that they are better and therefore stop the medication or like Nash experienced, the side effects begin to affect their daily living. Nash comes to a conclusion about his schizophrenia. “It’s a problem with no solution. It’s what I do.” He does not want to take medication, he is now aware of his condition and he wants to take control of it. Dr Rosen tries to reason with him by saying he can’t control this with his mind. Dr. Rosen: “You can't reason your way out of this!” Nash: “Why not? Why can't I?” Dr. Rosen: “Because your mind is where the problem is in the first place!” This comment from Dr Rosen rings true for all schizophrenic cases. It is a disorder of the mind that cannot be changed, but only supported or the symptoms of the condition can be treated as long as the patient continues to take the medication. It is a psychiatric disorder with major social and occupational dysfunction. This dysfunction needs to be managed. We see in Nash’s life how the social and occupational dysfunction is extremely evident. He is socially inept and he cannot do his work correctly because he is pre-occupied with the work of the US defence force. His interpersonal relationships are also affected as his relationship with his wife becomes strained as well as the fact that he has kept no friends or fails to make friends. We then see a beautiful scene between Nash and Alicia that epitomises her love for him, and we see how Nash is going to try control his illness. It all comes down to deciding what is real and what is not. Alicia: “You want to know what's real. This... “[putting her hand on his heart and his hand on her face] “... this is real.” Nash returns to his university, Princeton. He approaches his former rival, but someone who considered Nash as one of his friends- Martin. Nash approaches him saying- “Alicia and I think that fitting in, being part of a community might do me some good.” The stress and anxiety of returning to the place where his delusions first become is extremely daunting for him and the stress triggers his delusions once again stronger than ever. He has an embarrassing episode where Martin intervenes and tells him it’s ok. Nash is consoled when Martin says he will ask if Nash can return to lecturing. Nash returns the classroom. We see a very interesting thing happened at this point. We learn here how Nash controls his delusions and hallucinations. They are always present in his life, he can see and hear them all the time but he chooses to ignore them. This is evidence of incredible insight into his condition, and how much power the mind has to take hold of these delusions and let them go. Nash develops a sense of humour about his condition with his students that he affectionately calls- “the eager young minds of tomorrow.” In a humorous dialogue, Nash turns to one of his students when Thomas King approaches Nash. Nash: “Can you see him?” Student: Yeah. Nash: “Okay. I am always suspicious of new people. Now that I know you're real, who are you, and what can I do for you?” In two instances, Nash expresses how the delusions and hallucinations are still omnipresent in his life even many years after he had been diagnosed. The one being when he is talking to an old colleague and friend, Hansen. Nash: “They are my past. Everyone is haunted by their past. I've gotten used to ignoring them and I think, as a result, they've kind of given up on me. I think that's what it's like with all our dreams and our nightmares, Martin, we've got to keep feeding them for them to stay alive.” Towards the end of the movie, Nash has a conversation with Tomas King where he yet again expresses how he controls the delusions and hallucinations. “I still see things that are not here. I just choose not to acknowledge them. Like a diet of the mind, I just choose not to indulge certain appetites; like my appetite for patterns; perhaps my appetite to imagine and to dream.” Thomas King approaches Nash informing him that he has been chosen for the Nobel Prize. This is an extremely prestigious award and Nash’s taken aback by this incredible honour. He enters the hall at the university with Thomas King and they have tea. Nash is apprehensive as he had not been back in that room for many years. They are engaged in conversation when professors in the hall start walking up to Nash and giving him their pens. This is a sign of utmost respect for another professor. He is touched, and expresses in the only way he knows how. “That was certainly most unexpected.” We fast forward to the awards evening of the Nobel Prize. Nash has been awarded with the Nobel. He is in his old age and dedicates his speech to his wife. “What truly is logic? Who decides reason? My quest has taken me to the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional, and back. I have made the most important discovery of my career - the most important discovery of my life. It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logic or reasons can be found. I am only here tonight because of you. You are the only reason I am. You are all my reasons. Thank you.” This moment epitomises for me the importance of having a support system for a schizophrenic patient. It is not their fault that they have this disorder, and through the love and commitment from Nash’s wife, the professionalism from R Rosen and the support of Nash’s friends perhaps could have been important factors in part of his functioning as a normal person in society. A Beautiful Mind, inspired by a true story gives one insight into the hardships of being a schizophrenic and being the family of a schizophrenic. We are introduced to the symptoms of schizophrenia, possible treatment methodologies, and the complications of non compliance to medication and the devastating effects of living with this condition. It is a beautifully heart warming movie that allows one to empathise with those living with schizophrenia.

A personal perspective shift

This is a more personal blog entry. I sit here at my computer with tears running down my face as I come to one of the biggest realisations of my short life. Everything that I have been through in my life was for a specific purpose. Life hasn’t been all roses for me... it’s been tough. I have questioned a lot in my life... why me. Why my family. Doubting the God I had so much faith in. Doubting why I am here. Starting to believe there is no purpose, bad stuff just happens to good people. We’re all here from some crazy coincidence that was never meant to happen. But no. Today my perspective has been shifted. I see the light in so many different ways. We were created for purpose! There was always a small voice inside telling me that “one day I will understand why things happen.” It was such a small voice in my subconscious and today... it resounds with great volume in every corner of my heart. Everything that I have been through has been for a purpose. My dad being a drug addict and my family falling apart because of it... the hurt, confusion and pain all lead up to the events in my life. Me leaving Cape Town, coming to Durban, meeting a little boy with Down Syndrome, being introduced to OT because of it, applying for OT, being a 3rd year student at Newlands Park Centre, being a student to my supervisor who has challenged and motivated every aspect of my potential, meeting my service user who I have, in the smallest tiniest way, had an impact on. Him coming to speak to my whole class with all the confidence in the world. His story met up with mine today. Without his story, without the pain I have been through in life... my perspective would never have changed. The service user put it so wonderfully... he said that he believes that if he hadn’t come to rehab now, been there for 7 weeks already... if he had only come to the rehab on the 1st of October, he doesn’t think he would be alive today. Everything happened so that he could be at the rehab at the right time. His pain, suffering, hate and hurt all led to today where he stepped up and found a part of himself that he is learning to love. How beautiful is that? All of that led to today. Today where he shared his life story, changed his life today and today where so many OT students lives were changed and today, where my perspective has changed so incredibly. My dad, all the pain, hurt, suffering, heart ache, losses, deaths and hitting rock bottom has lead him on a path to self discovery and purpose where he is now touching the lives of addicts. If it had not been for my dad’s pain, hurt, suffering, heart ache, losses, deaths, hitting rock bottom and his addiction... perhaps the lives that have been changed by him would never have been changed. Their lives met up on this crazy path of life and I am so inspired by it. So overwhelmed by the magnitude of this crazy life and why things happen. I know, with all the faith in my heart, that I will come to understand and gain incredible perspective through my life events and how my life events will meet up with others life events and create a beautiful story of life and purpose.

NPC Braai day :)

On the 31st of August, the #rd year students decided to have a braii at NPC. And what an incredible experience it was. This was part of our treatment and our main goal was to allow the service users to have a social event with a group of people, having fun, without the need for alcohol or drugs to enjoy themselves. It was a fantastic afternoon. One of the service users brought out his guitar and strummed and sang a few songs. Many of the service users joined in and the students were entertained by the service users which almost brought me to tears. To see a very different side to these "hard core" men who have had to deal with such great obstacles, was so incredibly heart warming. We were entertained with a rap, with songs, with jokes and some thank you speeches. To say that the morning was a success, was truly refelcted in our minds when not only were the service users hearts touched, but so were ours. They were grateful for the surprise of a braiai and the fact that the students had dug into their own pockets to make it happen. When a group of guys have been subjected to feeling of neglect, negativity, abandonment, a deep longing to be with their loved ones at home... this braiai was able to lift up their spirits and keep them going for the next little while. I think it was also a realisation that we as students, are not there just to get the marks... we're there to help and make a difference. The group emerged that day as stronger than beofre. All hostil;ity and passed fights were forgotten as we all enjoyed each other's company. One service user stood up and said that these group of men are now his brothers. Allowing the oppurtunity for this to be said and comments alike, in a comfortable and relaxed environment, was important for their treatment. I think they can now have a sense of belonging to something more than just their recovery. They are there to help one another. To pick each other up when someone falls. It was an important day. And a successful and motivat8ing one for not only the service users, but for the students too. We have never been more motivated to start up the vocational rehab project. It is so great to have this motivation. This prac has changed my view of OT in so many ways and i am so grateful for it! :)

My favourite saying

A meaningful lecture- Down Syndrome

One of our lecture this semester was on a topic very close to my heart- Down syndrome. The main reason why it is so close to my heart, is because i met a little boy with Down Syndrome when i was 12, and he was the reason that I got intoduced to Occupational Therapy. He was 8 years old but at the developmental age of 3. He was so loving and beautiful, he took to me very easily as we played in  the garden. His mom then suggested, even though I was only 12, that I should look into OT when I finish school. And here I am, studying OT 9 years later. My childhood dream was introduced to me because of a little boy with down syndrome. We had an external lecturer come and see our class. She is from the Down Syndrome Association for South Africa and this lady has a daughter with Down Syndrome. It was a touching lecture that really opened up our eyes to these special children. :

This beautiful little girl has Down Syndrome

 

Values clarification lecture

The sinking ship game
This game was so much fun. the game involves a situation where you and a grouop of people are on a ship, and a lifeboat can only hold 5 people. There comes a very hard task of deciding who is going to go on the lifeboats to go get help, and who is going to remain on the ship to wait for help. Although it is so much fun as the members of the group argue and try to make up excuses and stories as to why they should be allowed on the lifeboat, there are very important messages that one learns as the game progresses. These lessons are centred around values clarification. Your values, what you think is important, do you value your life over others and the like. We had an extra interesting element because one of the members was married and the other has a child. The ethical dilemma comes in- does the married woman get on the lifeboat because she is married or has she already had the happiness of getting married, whereas single people should go on the lifeboat so that they canstill have that chance of happiness. It was very interesting once we sat afterwards and thought about how we handled the situation and how different our views would be if we really were in that situation. Personally, I would want to be on that lifeboat because if i did not return, my family at home would be broken. Yet, I try to be selfless. But if put in that situation, i would be tempted to save my life for the sake of my family. A tough call, and i guess we never really know how we are going to react in a very difficult situation unless we are put in that situation.

Growth Games

This semester has been filled with wonderful group and growth game activities. In the strangest way, I feel that they have helped me to grow in small ways. i am more confident in front of my class, I am more comfortable with making a fool of myself and I have that innate competetitive side of me come out many times during these sessions. I have always been a competitive person but I have not been given the oppurtunity to embrace that side of me. These growth games and group activities have shown me how important  and therapeutic it can be for people in a psych institution particularly in a rehab setting like the one that i have been placed in.

What are growth games?

The growth games that i particularly enjoyed were:

Talisman. Our prac group, NPC, dominated!! We knew we would ;) This is a fun game that involces thinking, thought processing, a competitive element, decision making, leaders emerge as someone is likely to try take control of the game to make sure their team won. It is a brilliant game to create cohesiveness in a group. Since we had the growth game, we have used it at NPC. It was interesting to see the different dynamics compared to when we did it in class. We had to prompt a lot more, encourage group cohesion and because at NPC, the groups were all male- the competitiveness was a lot more evident. Talisman involves:

King Edward Hospital

I recently came across a few photo's of a very special time during our long July holiday.
Monique Davies, a very dear and special friend of mine had a dream. and this dream of hers she brought to life through lots of prayer, perseverance and tons of sponsorship:
THE PAINTING OF THE CHILDRENS WARD AT KING EDWARD HOSPITAL.
What an incredible experience! The amount of sponsorship we received was so amazing. We got free coloured paint, free white paint, free canvas, lots of money and the help of many kind hearts.
We spent  some of our days painting and sanding, then taking off paint and re-sanding after a big hiccup. It was such a great learning experience. And now the lives of sick children at King Edward is filled with colour and love. What a beautiful project. It just shows how the passion of one person's dream can become a reality if they persevere. Well done my Mo* It was so great spending time with you as we watch the dream unfold. I look so forward to the opening at the end of the year.

A way of looking at LIFE

St Thomas Children's home visit 28 July 2012

This is a post i wrote a while ago about a beautiful little place that captured my heart- St Thomas Children's Home.

On the 28th of July, my OT class visited a Children's Home. We were all very excited as we arrived to a group of smiling children all ready to hug and love us. I have been exposed to orphanages before so this was nothing new to me but to someone who had never been before, i can imagine that it is quite a shock to see such happy smiling and loving faces especially in the oung children where their circumstances are so dire.
As a class we were split up into our prac groups and were all put in charge of running a group according to the different age groups in the home. My group got the "Daisies". My group decided that we would do an interactive activity as part of a warm up and incorporate music into it as music is an easy way to get the energy levels up. It was a group of about 12 children and there were about 8 students. This proved to be quite diffeicult because we did not have a proper structure- the children dd not know who to listen to. We epitomised the saying- "Too many cooks spoil the broth." However, this was a lesson learned.
Warm up: All the children and some OT students sat in a circle and passed a ball around the cirle while the music was playing. When the music stopped, the child that had the ball had to perform a certain action. Because these children are at the age where they should know their shapes and colours, this was incorporated into the warm up. ALso, some actions included making the sounds of some animals and picking a friend in the group to high five promoting decison making and socialisation amongst them.
The activity: We decided on a crat activity where music was involved as music was involved in our warm up activity. We collected toliet rolls and brought many craft items such as stickers, coloured paper and colorful pens. The children were to make their very own shakers. We allowed them the choice of whch item they would like to fill their shakers with according to the sounds that each made. This promoted decison making. They were then allowed the oppurtunity to decorate their shakers. We then played some music and the children shook their shakers.
Analysis: It was a fun activity and the delight on the children's faces was priceless. They were so proud to show off their creations often turning to the students to show us how well they had done. Children that seemed more reserved at the beginning came out of their shells as they created their shakers. The warm up and the activity went a lot faster than anticipated so we ran out of ideas towards the end. But luckily for us, we were all children once and we were able to think bcak to when we were young and the games that we played. I think the disorganisation on our part was evident but the children were just so happy that they were having fun, listening to music, interacting with one another that it didn't really matter at the end of the day.

It was a beautiful day had by all the students. I even felt that we became closer as a class as we all did something outside of varsity on a Saturday. When the whole class came together at the end in a circle we shared our experiences for the day and we saw that not only did we bring joy to the lives of the children, but they brought so much joy to our lives.
This vulnerable population of children is hert breaking to see. The home is a place of safety for these vulnerable children. When working with them for the day, I had to dettach my feelings of heartbreak.

It was a wonderful morning at he children's home. I learnt so much about the joy of play in the occupation of children.

Nikita Sweet, the Occupational Therapy student :)

My name is Nikita Sweet. This is my very first entry into my very first blog! i'm excited! :) I have never been the type of person to write in diaries even after attempting it many times. So i think this will be good for me. I love the concept of recording moments, and reminiscing back to lessons learnt. For this semester, we are in third year Psych block. I am loving it so far! Even the short space of 3 weeks, I have grown as a person through critical thinking and have just been opened up to a whole new world of Occupational Therapy. I was reminded this term about why I chose this degree. I've learnt that I didn't choose OT. It chose me :)
Happy reading! I hope to bring across what OT means to me and how much i have learnt being a part of this degree